Learning

* Disclaimer: I know this is long, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately and just needed to get it out. :) *

The older I get, the more I realize that I have so much to learn still.  I've been thinking a lot lately though, about how far I've come since my first year of college.When I first moved away from home, I knew living on my own would be different, but I wasn't at all prepared for actual life. First I realized that living is expensive. You reach into the cupboard to grab something your Mom always had, only to realize it's not there. Let's just say there were quite a few tearful phone calls to my Dad that first year when my bank account somehow kept reaching zero. So you accept the fact that being on your own isn't quite the breeze you thought it would be...

Then it comes to friends. You sit in your first class surrounded by 250 other students and you realize you don't know a soul. You finally understand how it feels to be in a room full of people, but still feel alone. You sit by yourself expecting someone to introduce themselves to you...and no one does. Not everyone knows you like they did in High School, and even worse, no one seems to care. It's hard at first, but you accept the fact that you have to be proactive and start sitting by people and getting  to know them.

Then there's the ever confusing male population. I still haven't come close to figuring that one out (doubt I ever will!). All I can say is that there has been plenty of heartbreak, rejection, and insecurity. It's just part of life. After awhile you get stronger and you start to find one here or there that knows how to be respectful and kind.

Then it comes to a job. Dad tells you that you've got to learn to take care of yourself so you write up a resume and take it to a few places. No one calls you back. You slowly realize no one is going to say, "Oh, I know your Dad! I'd be happy to hire you" like they have so many times before at home. There are thousands of other students who are applying for the same jobs as you. So you accept the fact that you have to figure this one out yourself. And you march right up to the manager at a nice restaurant and shake his hand. Who would have thought you'd still be working here 4 years later?

There is a house of guys that I've become pretty good friends with. They hang out with a group of freshman girls quite a bit and at first I was incredibly annoyed by them...(was I ever that loud??) But then I remember what it felt like to be in their shoes. I can see little glimpses of insecurity behind their non-stop chatter. They just want to be accepted. Sometimes I want to stop them and say, 

"Hey, it's okay. Step by step you figure things out. More times than you'd like to admit, you are wrong and have to start working through things all over again. But everything is going to be okay. Surround yourself with people who respect you for who you are and just be yourself. Things will never go as planned, but they will work themselves out anyway. You'll look back someday and realize you've come a long way and that you're happy."